The Drowsy Chaperone
Monologue: "(To Janet, glass in hand) My dear, that's something you'll have to decide for yourself. Why don't you ask him? Why don't you say, "Roger, do you love me?" Right, you are not allowed to see him before the wedding. It's my job to keep you away from him. And I take the responsibility very seriously. However, I'm just this moment feeling terribly, terribly drowsy. I'm afraid I have to have a lie-de-down. Now whatever you do, don't go wandering through the gardens seeking out your fiancé to ask him the question upon which your future happiness depends. (Notices the glass) Why in the world would anyone put olives in a Gibson?"
Song: "As We Stumble Along" - Measures 49 to the end
Monologue: "Chaperone, do you think that Robert is in love with Janet Van De Graaff the girl, or Janet Van De Graaff the sensation? I mean, many have fallen in love with the latter. Oh, I know you think it's crazy to give up a successful career to marry a man I hardly know, but somehow, for some reason when I look into his eyes... his big, monkey eyes... ah gee... I get all wozy. And that's what it's all about, isn't it? I mean that's love isn't it?"
Songs (MUST SING BOTH SONGS):
"Show Off" - Measures 120 to the end
"Bride's Lament" - Measures 90-109
Monologue: "Underling? The Pastry Chefs have been kind enough to provide the liquor for the party, but remember Underling, we have to be discreet. It is prohibition, after all. We'll have to use code words. For instance, if someone asks for a glass of ice-water, it means they want a glass of vodka. Underling? How do I look? I do love this dress so. It never goes out of style."
Songs (MUST SING BOTH SONGS):
"Love is Always Lovely in the End" - Beginning to Measure 9
"Fancy Dress" - Beginning to Measure 9
Monologue: "(As the gangsters leave the room) They're Gangsters! I remember now. They ran a protection racket in my old neighborhood. If you didn't pay up at the end of each month, they'd come by your place and give you a surprise. A Toledo surprise. If you've never heard of it, that's because people who have heard of it are never heard from again. You know what I mean? Because they're dead."
Song: "Toledo Surprise" - Measures 100-116
Monologue: "Sorry to crash the party, folks. But we'll have this fixed in two shakes and then off to Rio for Carnival!"
Song: "I Do, I Do in the Sky" - Pickup into Measure 33-59
Gangsters 1 & 2
Monologue: "Allow me to elucidate. Although we stand here before you in the guise of innocent pastry chefs, we are also - and primarily - employees of a certain individual who happens to be the largest single investor in Feldzieg's Follies. He has sent us here - as pastry chefs - to express his concern about Ms. Van de Graaff's impending nuptials. Specifically that if she gets married and leaves the show, then there ain't no show. We hope we have made ourselves perfectly eclair. One cannoli hope. You biscotti be kidding me. A triffle much? Don't tart with me. Alas, we ganache."
Song: "Toledo Surprise" - Measures 3-35