Man in Chair

Monologue: "I hate theatre. Well, it’s so disappointing, isn’t it? You know what I do when I’m sitting in a darkened theatre waiting for the show to begin? I pray. Oh, dear God, please let it be a good show. And let it be short, oh Lord in heaven, please. Two hours is fine, three hours is too much. And keep the actors out of the audience… God. I didn’t pay good money to have the fourth wall come crashing down around my ears. I just want a story, and a few good songs that will take me away. I just want to be entertained. I mean, isn’t that the point? Amen."

Song: "As We Stumble Along" - Beginning to Measure 33

00:00 / 01:11

Monologue: (Looking at his own reflection in the mirror) "Say, handsome. Show me those pearly whites. (Figuring out his tie) Now let's see, the little rabbit goes around the tree and down the hole… Oh, Robert you're all thumbs. You're nervous aren't you? (Arguing with his reflection) No, I'm not. Yes you are! Now don't worry. It's perfectly normal for a groom to be nervous on his wedding day. It is? Of course."

Song: "Cold Feets" - Measures 11-62

00:00 / 01:03

Monologue: "(Entering with phone) "Why don't you just slime back into your mud hole, you backstabbing worm! (He hangs up) Well, now I have to find another minister. I've got to get the rice, boutonnières, a minister! I have the weight of the wedding on my shoulders! (Turning to Mrs. Tottendale.) Now, don't worry. I have this whole wedding planned out. The key is organization. See? (Holding up his fingers, each with a string tied around it) Each string represents a task yet to be completed. Pay the musicians, yell at the florist, book the caterer. This whole wedding's going to run like clockwork."


"Fancy Dress" - Pickup into measure 57-64

00:00 / 00:12

"Cold Feets" - Measures 11-62

00:00 / 01:03

Monologue: "This is outrageous! He is saying to people that Adolpho is a scoundrel… to beautiful ladies, with breasts for making love. Why, I must… I must… I must take-a this groom into my hands and kill him. Show me this groom. Wait. What kind of man is this groom? A big man? A burly fellow? No, no, no, Aldolpho will not fight big men. Tiny men, little pale wheezy dwarf people, yes, but no big men! Aldolpho is no fighter. Aldolpho is a lover of beautiful ladies. Some say I am the King of Romance."

Song: "Adolpho" - Pickup into measure 13-35

00:00 / 01:14

Monologue: " You look radiant, Mrs. Tottendale. It's a miracle, Madam. The guests will be arriving shortly. For the wedding madam. Shall I have the pews installed now, or would you prefer I wait until morning? (She seems confused.) For the wedding madam."

Song: "Fancy Dress" - Pickup into measure 10-25

00:00 / 00:37

Monologue: "(To Janet) I got a question. How can you give up the footlights when you know very well you got grease paint in your veins? Oh Janet. I am begging you. Dump this mug and stay in the Follies. I'll give you anything you want. I'll… I'll… oh, fine, I'll put your name above mine on the marquee."


"Toledo Surprise" - Measures 130-146

00:00 / 00:25

"Toledo Surprise" - Measures 3-35

00:00 / 00:41
Gangsters 1 & 2

Monologue: "Allow me to elucidate. Although we stand here before you in the guise of innocent pastry chefs, we are also - and primarily - employees of a certain individual who happens to be the largest single investor in Feldzieg's Follies. He has sent us here - as pastry chefs - to express his concern about Ms. Van de Graaff's impending nuptials. Specifically that if she gets married and leaves the show, then there ain't no show. We hope we have made ourselves perfectly eclair. One cannoli hope. You biscotti be kidding me. A triffle much? Don't tart with me. Alas, we ganache."

Song: "Toledo Surprise" - Measures 3-35

00:00 / 00:41